you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere....

i know i should probably start on my paper thats due tomorrow but i feel like eh, my brains way too fried from this mornings 715 final...So instead i'll take the time to release some unnecessary crap thats stuck on my chest AND back.

TOP TEN "You know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere"....:

10) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when the boss has to take your phones away from you in the beginning of every shift because your idiotic coworkers decide to be buried in their phones instead of serving customers.

9) You know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when your coworkers add you on facebook but never say hi to you when you work with them let alone seeing them outside of work.

8) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when you see your coworkers outside of work and they try to act like they dont know you but hit you up with the quickness when they need a shift covered.

7) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when 75% of your coworkers has hooked up with each other. World's cleanest recycling bin.

6) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when theres always one person whose the main juice of the day to talk about at work no matter what day of the week it is.

5) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when your coworkers start rumors that don't even make sense just because they can't be on their level of CRACKINNESSSSSS.

4) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when you still use the word CRACKINNESSSSS.

3) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when for christmas secret santa on elfster, your coworker has no shame and wishes for a gstring/bra set..how professional.

2) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when your coworker is putting up stickers of themselves promoting their bodies, half naked on your work walls.

1) you know you work in a frikin high school atmosphere when.......theres not one shift when alcohol, drugs, partying, and ecstasy is not brought up between coworkers. STD, thizz iz what it iz my nigg, hyphyhyphy, high school life ALL OVER AGAIN. YAY.

a real friend.

pic via from shannon's blog:

a real friend..understanding more to the fact that sex and money are not the main keys to a friendship and life but how far they'd go the distance during an unexpected time.

girlsarethenewboys.

She done did it again, took the words right outta my brain and put it into words. An entry from ABI.

You ever watch a movie and swear you’re the only one in the theater, and they’re specifically talking to orabout you? That’s how I felt during the scene in Friends With Benefits when the following conversation between Jaime (Mila) and Dylan (JT) ensued:

Jamie: Look, I know that I act all tough and I talk all tough, but really…
Dylan: It’s just a front to protect yourself from your own vulnerability.

To which I have only two things to say to the FWB screenwriters, “F YOU,” and “Where’s my royalties?” Because I swear I’ve been incepted.

It’s not so much that I pretend to be tough, I just pretend as if I don’t care. At all. I have this nonchalant act down to such an art, that I won’t even tell you I’m leaving when really I just want to lay in bed with you all day. Then I expect you to know exactly how I feel. Of course I do.

You see when it comes to relationships, it’s extremely difficult for me to talk about my feelings. Not too sure why, I’m a woman. I thought it’s what we were born to do. But when it comes to telling someone how I feel, I kind of rather burn my hair instead.

But what can I say? I’m stubborn. It’s not that I’m a slow learner. It’s just that things never seem to make sense, or permeate until I learn the HARD WAY. Which means yes – making the same mistake twice … thrice, and if I knew how to say it past three I would. I still agree that some things are better left unsaid, especially when you’re just beating a dead horse. What it comes down to is WHY. Why do you feel the need to have that talk? To send that email? To send that text? If it’s in an attempt to change the other person’s mind about a current situation you’re probably better off leaving it alone. But you can never go wrong when you do things solely for yourself.

You can also never go wrong with stating your intentions as soon as you know them, and being honest about your feelings from the jump. You can hold out in hopes that the feelings will just go away, or at the very least save face. However, it will never worth the tears that fall down your face when you realize you should’ve said something sooner.

Satisfaction

Satisfaction 04:

Losing something that means so much to you while being absent minded =( and having it come back to you. #bestfeelingever.

Christmas/BDAY wishlist.

Some stuff on my wishlist. i'll update as I think of more.

found @ NBA.com

found @ http://karvt.com/shop/maple-natural-iphone4/

can be found @ http://www.karmaloop.com/product/126996

Satisfaction

Satisfaction 03: NOT getting a two in one gift for your birthday and Christmas. -__-. For all the December birthdays, i'm sure you can relate. #bestfeelingever.

2012.

I woke up this morning actually i'd say more like afternoon from this crazy dream only to realize again, it wasn't a dream but was reality. I've come to my conclusions that what I fear the most are natural disasters that no one can but God can take care of.

Last night at work I was feeling under the weather, got past the customers and sucked it up to finish till it was time to go home. Instead of going straight home for once, I decided to head over to some friends place since I haven't hung out with all of them in a long time. Soon as I got there I was dead tired but managed to pull off some type of energy. Browsing through my friends computer, I saw a post on someone's tumblr about the little things we appreciate and one of them said "lighting up candles when there a black out". I didn't think anything of it other than "oh thats pretty true" then couple minutes before 12, the lights start flickering a little and so I joke around with my friend telling them why they havent paid pg&e again and they joke around saying, "yea we havent paid it in two months so the lights are going to go out at midnight". HAHA joke joke joke, no big deal. Only to happen at 12:13 am- lights flicker on and off and the whole building is pitch dark. No big deal, just a mini black out around the hood due to the mini tornado of whirlwinds outside.

So a couple of minutes later, i'm starting to get a little nervous because my roommates are starting to text me and ask me where I am and to come home. So I dropped my friend off to pick up some of his belongings and dog only to realize the whole darn south side of SJSU campus was blacked out. It didn't really hit me how freaked out I was until literally stoplights were swaying back and forth so swiftly and trees were flying EVERYWHERE and my car was being hit by a ton of gunk flying in the air. Dodging the trees felt like I was dodging dead human bodies on the floor because the trees and palm trees branches on the streets were THAT big. I get close to a block away from my house and theres a cop car just parked there with his lights on blocking off my block and I'm so confused why its parked there and I realized just as I was about to drive around it that a couple of feet away from me was the telephone wire that dropped and they were trying to put it aside. Stupid DTSJ has so many one way streets you pretty much had to go all the around down 4 blocks just to get back to my street. And thats exactly what I did except I freaked out everytime I turned into the wrong dead end street cause it was so dark. I finally got back to my house and parked and ran back to my house fighting the winds...didnt realize how pitched dark it was when I ran into a random person walking the streets that scared the HELL out of me. At this point i'm freaking out and I run into the house, my roommate is there gearing on some clothes like they were ready to go home and all the candles are lit in the house. I get down to my room and change so I can go meet up with everyone else apparently outside the house and as I get my dog, whose also freaking out because he wont move everytime I try to get him outta his side of the room, I call my roommate to help me. Only to realize, he left me too=(. Super sad, I ran upstairs and was at the verge of going crazy, thankfully....they all storm back into my house and tell me black out is cause of the wind and trees falling on the wires, etc.

So we're all hanging out in my room since its the basement and you hear less of the nightmare going on outside. And while playing cards trying to not think about whats really going down, I hear the gates creaking because of the winds blowing it half off out walls.

All in all, I've learned to realize at that moment of darkness, loneliness, sickness, and natural disaster CRAZINESS, I am more than beyond grateful for having friends who can help cure a fear by simply just being right next to me to "wait for the storm to pass". I literally woke up today and thought about how crazy that whole night was. During the craze, we drove to danville back to one of my roommates mom's place and hung out there for a bit and came back home...it seriously looked like NOTHING even went wrong two hours before. The winds calmed down and the lights were back on to normal. Cheers to good friends, good company, and nothing happening to me, loved ones, the house, and my car.

It was almost like 2012 was happening right in front of my eyes as I stood there helpless.=\

"The day I almost died!"

Happy "Sweet" December. I'm not a fan of december but lets see how the rest of this year pans out as i'm a nervous wreck going into this month knowing that it already hasn't been off to a good start. Regardless, I wanted to begin the month also with a testimony/journal entry of a close close close friend of mines that many of you readers probably know. Just a mini background about the story...Nathan and two of my other friends went on a mission trip to honduras last year and came back with this story. Hope it inspires you somehow, someway, somewhere.

In August 2009, I went on a mission trip to Honduras with two members from my church. We stayed with two missionaries from the states, a lovely couple Shari and Terry, who led a ministry that catered to homeless and orphans. This is a journal entry/message from my mission trip to Honduras that I wrote in 2009. I feel I’ve come a long way since then, but I’ll never forget the journey I’ve experienced.

" On Saturday we were loading the truck up with supplies for another day of ministry and I saw 3 random guys walking over to the truck. They asked Terry if we needed help in Spanish so I went to grab some water containers to load into the truck. Then Terry yelled out to Shari to close the front door. I turn around and I see that one of the guys stepped foot into the garage area while the other two were pushing Terry around for something. I had no idea what was happening at first. I was standing face to face with the man who came through the garage and he lifted his shirt up a little to reveal a gun strapped to his belt. I started to panic and the first thing that came out of my mouth was “No”. I look over to Terry and I see that the other two men had guns as well. He started to yell some things and then pointed the gun at my face. I thought to myself, “Am I going to die right now?” I’ve heard stories of some people getting shot in the head over cell phones or for no reasons there. I prayed the fastest prayer in my life. “God keep me safe”. He directed me with his gun to go into the house and he told us all to sit down on the couch. They grabbed a laptop, camera, jewelry, and money. Shari kept trying to plead with the robbers saying not to hurt us because we were just missionaries. Terry came in shortly after with the other two robbers and started to say “En Cristo, En Cristo, En Cristo” They ordered us all to sit on the couch with the guns pointed yelling while the other robber grabbed our belongings. They quickly escaped. Shari called the police and called some of their American church members in Honduras. Everyone came shortly after for prayers and support. Shari came over to us and started crying saying “I’m sorry this happened to you guys because in all our years spent in Honduras this has never happened before."

When I was staring at death through the barrel of the gun I didn’t have one of those moments where your life in the past flashes before your eyes. I wasn’t thinking about my family and what would happen to them if I were to die. I wasn’t thinking about my friends or church. What came to my mind was God. I thought, if I were to die now, what would I have to show God for this life that I lived on Earth. This mediocre, unloving, selfish life that I have been living. No! I did not want it to end this way. I told God, “I can do more. I can do better for you Jesus. You gave me your all so give me another chance to give my all. Instead of my life flashing before my eyes, other people’s lives flashed before my eyes. Those who didn't have a relationship with God. Those who had no hope for eternity. My friends, coworkers, and family members. I thought about everyone in my life, that I am responsible for. I said “God, let me minister to them.” Please give me more time. Let me be a LIVING(not dead) sacrifice for your good and perfect will.

I sat down minutes after the incident, flipped the Bible open with no direction but the book opened up to Matthew 10:

28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

32"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. 33But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven.

Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; 38and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.

Before Saturday we had already visited the prison, orphanage, and did ministry work for the homeless. At the time I was thinking to myself, “This is fun and it‘s not so bad, I can see myself doing this long term.” I believe God woke me up on Saturday. God wanted to show me that the mission field is dangerous as well. If I’m willing to live for God, I have to be willing to die for him as well.

Finally this verse came to me:

7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

When the American church came over to pray with us after the robbery I started to realize how selfish I was being. The first thing that I did when I was facing death was to ask God to save me. That was my own desire for my own fate I was asking God to do for me. This verse shows that we belong to God whether dead or alive.

What’s amazing is that God answers prayers in ways I would never expect. Before the trip I asked God for only two things. I asked Him to draw me closer to Him and to take my relationship with Him to a new level and I asked Him to keep us safe. And He answered both prayers. God is so good. I’m so blessed. I always ask God, why ME!? Why do all these crazy things keep happening in my life? Because He truly loves me.

So I want to ask you all today. Look at your lives right now. Ask yourselves, what am I doing with my life? What are you priorities in life? Don’t take life on earth for granted. Spend every breath wisely. Go love your family, your friends, your children, your fellow church members. Children respect and love your parents. Parents love your children and raise them up using the word of God. Help to build each other up in love. Look for each other spiritually. Go out and fulfill the great commission. Finally, Glorify and Love God faithfully every day like it’s your last because He gave us His all."

....And it makes me think, What have I been doing since the day I almost died and had a second chance of life to glorify God?

"Nobody can avoid falling in love. They might want to deny it, but friendship is probably the most common form of love."

Satisfaction

Satisfaction 02:

Coming home on a mediocre mood to see your dog and he/she's wagging their tail like crazy at the sight of you. #bestfeelingever

satisfaction

Theres just some things in life that I would just ponder upon randomly throughout the day and just be so thankful for being so blessed. I think about some of the best feelings that one could feel and theres just so many. So to keep me up to date on this blog, everytime i think of one, I'll post it up. Heres the first

Satisfaction 01:

That moment when you stick out your hands to see if a baby wants to come to you and the moment they choose you and not turn away. #Bestfeelingever

greedy friday

As for most would say right now after thanksgiving is over and black friday just tip toed right by us, THANK YOU JESUS the NBA lockout is over. I thought i would be able to be happy and satisfied without it until this year when season did start when it should have made it a weird year like something was missing. No warriors pre- party while meeting the players along with the traditional opening game with my friends...all we had were these pity charity games that would save us from our misery and dire need of the taste of some basketball season. Now that they finally have agreed on being less greedy, we can now be one big happy basketball family.

Black friday schpeal was a fail thanks to fellow flakers who shouldnt really be mentioned but will be anyway...alyssa and brandon -___- who up to the date told me they were going to bare the cold and wait in line with me at bestbuy but told me two hours before the wait time that they were not going to go through with plans..ARGH. nonetheless, their missing presence didnt stop me and i bared the cold for 3.5 precious hours and indeed got everything i intended to go for. And yes, I came out as a happy camper...excluding the fact that I have learned my lesson. The lesson being that the greedier and greedier the economy has become with black friday with beginning the sales at 12am, i will get my rest and wake up at 4am where the lines have died out and the doorbusters will still be there as long as im not trying to cop a t.v. (But of course if you tell me this in person, I will never admit to it)

Hooray for deep discounts on my memory cards, crazy stupid love, love and other drugs, harddrives, ipod armbands, FUZZY SOCKS and random other crap that dove a huge hole in my account. Guess after Christmas is when i'll really have to start saving up for the big vacations i plan on doing in 2012.

thanksgiving 2011

Theres so many things to be so blessed about this year. I know I'm early for a thanksgiving post but because my church celebrates thanksgiving the sunday before the real day, i felt that today would be my thanksgiving day to just look over the past year and see what i'm really grateful for. Even the unfortunate things that have happened this year, i seem to still be more than grateful for..no matter how much it seems to slowly eat me alive inside out.

I think thats what growing up and maturing about is. Some things i'm more definitely grateful for and we can always be thankful for what we have that play a positive factor in our lives. But sometimes its not always about the positive things that we should always be thankful for. What changes and molds you the most are the negative things that you carry that makes you a better person because you're constantly striving for the better.

This year was the first year that my mom didn't celebrate thanksgiving with us at church. And this ongoing idea of her not going to church with us hadn't really hit me yet until I was at church seeing everyone take their family photos, but I believe God has some master plan behind his plan with my mom. And the only thing I can be patient for and still grateful for is that even though we'll have a part of our family missing while we do our usual church activities, her love and support for me hasn't changed and that I still have a mom to do that for me.

Another thing that i'm most thankful is the patience and tolerance i've learned over the past year through the situations. I've noticed that through many situations that i'd usually go crazy, keep grudges, get pissed off about, or be really upset with doesn't seem to phase me anymore. I'll think about it, stress a bit off of it, and move on with life. Its not something everyone can do on a daily basis..the thoughts are always lingering but theres not much time to waste on something that brings such negative energy in your life, just think about it and if it affects you, change it so it benefits you. Don't sit there wasting time over it because theres way more to life than that .5% of additional stress.

I would write more that I'm thankful for right now but I'm racing against time to grab some sleep and my minds keeping me from completely sorting out my thoughts so i'll leave you with a jist of what I'm thankful for and i hope you can think outside of the box to find things that you're usually not thankful for but is.

happpppyyy thanksgiving, gobble gobble.

5 is the norm

Theres this on going of bittersweetness that I've been feeling for the past two years. I'd say more of a bitter now than of sweet just because as times crunching and moneys wasting, I still can't get some of the classes that I need to get me out of this school that we call "college". What gets me the most is when people who are so judgmental towards the students who take over four years to graduate. Its one thing to understand that some may not have their things together and another thing to understand that for some of us, we don't want or choose to be here for over 4 years. But because we ended up being part of the horrible california budget crisis, we're stuck here without being able to get any classes or barely getting any classes to graduate within the four years. 5 years is the NORM for graduating on time, and for those of you to not have to deal with it every semester...praying, hoping, and losing sleep every semester near registration time, is something you'd have to shut your mouth, understand, and have a more positive attitude towards our struggles.

It has gotten to be the biggest pet peeve where people have come up to me every week asking me, when are you graduating and as I tell them some time between the next year and half, they give me this dirty look like i've been slacking off and it gives them something to look down on me for. If only they knew and understood what state students go through DYING to get these classes. No one wants to be in that stage of knowledge knowing that they WANT to be in college for over 4 years, even though its way more fun than the real world. And no one definitely wants to drop way over 2 g's every semester pretty much donating to the crisis. If only the people would understand that we do try and its not a guaranteed four year degree. And of everyone to understand, I wish my parents would be the first ones to see that I have been trying, that I am trying and that i am not trying to prolong my graduation because I'm in love with the thought of college and living the college life, but its really because of the damn crisis of getting the classes that ARENT being offered at the same time.

"It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement." -Mabel Newcomber

Does anybody know youre a christian?

This spoken word hit me the hardest cause it speaks nothing but the truth. It def explains everything I'm trying to work on but cant seem to reciprocate anything a Christian should be portraying. Kudos to Karness (the guy speaking)

"And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." -Haruki Murakami

warm fuzzies

I think lately i've just been going with the flow of everything. Not having much emotions or two cents for anything or anyone. Ok maybe I take that back, I still have emotions for some people. But as for anything that goes for me lately, I just seem to think about it for at most an hour...let time pass then completely forget that it happened. I don't know if its a good mush brain thing that i enjoy having or a horrible trait/habit that i'm beginning to have. I.E. I got into a car accident and as an initial thought, you'd expect to be freaking out, pissed, scared, etc. but i think when i got into my first accident, i was just a bit upset for at most 30 minutes and the rest of the day/week was just flew past my mind and the thought never came back to me. Then recently I had extra mush brain and somehow completely forgot my car keys, wallet, house and bike keys were in my locker at work but by the time i remembered the door and alarm was set not being able to get into the building. I was carless, keyless, and wallet less, and was blessed enough to have a coworker bring me home but that didn't phase me for more than an hour. Maybe its beginning to take a toll on me because when things do seem to make a difference and actually have me thinking about it overnight, it probably means i should start being aware of my surroundings.

I guess I could just say i've been so blessed. Blessed with friends who have completely warmed my heart to learn to not give a crap about things that don't last forever. But that's not the point of why its motivated me to write about it on this. Its something thats been on my mind since last night after I decided to join the sjsu inter varsity group on campus last night. The last people i'd expect to see there, was there. And that super warm fuzzied feeling I've gotten since last night...a quote to sum up my emotions that are everywhere right now would probably just be "Lord I'm Amazed by you". I haven't seen my friend in two years that i've met since freshman year. Freshmen year full of basketball memories, party memories, when we first met new people..you know the people you start college off with that always have a part in your heart no matter what. Seeing her was an amazing surprise and i think if you read from my previous blogs, I always just seem to enjoy it the most when my friends talk about growing up and doing something big for themselves and I believe she's doing that right now. And even better, rekindling friendships IN the presence of God. What more could I have asked for. I can't preach it anymore than I do but seriously, waiting for God's timing is the crucial key to learning and appreciating things in life. EVERYTHING happens for a reason and come what may, I hope these warm fuzzies stay with me for a while.

broke ta broke broke

we're so broke these days, a coin drops in class and the WHOLE class slowly turns around to see what amount of the coin that dropped so we can scramble and wrestle for it if its 25cents or more. shameless world these days. With christmas around the corner, stingyness comes in spoils all the fun for presents. haha just kidding. I cant WAIT for this semester to be over and done with...even though i dont want the next semester/year to arrive...since you know, we all might not make it past 2011! haha y2k all over again...stupid people. =D

the snotty life.

I was walking to school today and some asian guy mid 40s almost lookin like hes close to homeless was talkin to me via hand motions since my headphones were on. He was asking to borrow my phone then gave me a sad face as i kinda just shook my head and walked passed him. I felt sooo bad walking past him and not offering my phone, but if i had stayed i would been late for my class...so i hop on the bus and im just so upset with myself thinking maybe he really couldve used my phone since there are no more pay phones around these days. And it just boggled my mind and as I was contemplating and really upset with it on the bus, being a little down from the terrible action i had just made, i look over and I see the same guy digging in his nose while walking as if he'd find some phone or some kind of change to pay someone to let them use their phone. I guess there was a reason after all that I didnt let him use my phone. All things happen for a reason... watch who you lend your phone too because there might just be a surprise when they return it back to you. MUAHAHA. the snotty life.

exactly.

I can't wait to have kids of my own or even my niece or nephew. STAT STAT mae mae!

why do these amazing quotes come out after hes gone? Makes me wonder...nonetheless, POIFECT.

“because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. remembering that you are going to die is the best way i know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. you are already naked. there is no reason not to follow your heart.” Steve Jobs

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary" -Steve Jobs

youre killin me, jobs. RIP to one of the most intelligent geniuses that I lived to see and has made my life easier.....to cheat.

"If i ever reach heaven i expect to find three wonders there: first, to meet some I had not thought to see there; second, to miss some I had expected to see there; and third, the greatest wonder of all, to find myself there." -unknown

Theres just so many things in life you live and learn by. We change everyday along with the rest of the world updating ourselves one.by.one. You learn to let go when things/people arent meeting you 50% of the way, to fight back when the going gets tough, and understand things were meant to be with or without for a reason. And through all those triumphs and tribulations you learn a little part of yourself in every situation. But no matter how old you get, how much you've aged, and how much you've endured, you'll never completely find yourself. But one thing you will eventually learn is to never let your past define your present and future. So go out there, explore and expect the unexpected, cause when you do that, you find yourself in ways you would have never imagined yourself to be. And when you feel like you've finally found yourself, keep moving cause chances are theres always going to be bigger and better things for you.

a old friend

You know those friends where you grew up with them..the friends that lived right down the block from you, the friends you traveled with, slept over with, played mall madness with, and learned to ride bikes and rollerblades together? HAHA ok maybe not the mall madness part but yea those friends, the childhood friends that never leave your mind no matter how old you get cause the memories were JUST that great. But theres always that one friend that always had something behind the scenes that was just not as healthy as the usual childhood life. And that no matter how happy you were and no matter how much fun you had with them, you always had something deep inside you that felt..well for lack of better words for now, bad..bad for them. And as time went on, you grew apart and wished everyday that things didnt have to change between the friendship and that we didnt have to move on with our lives separately. But still living vicariously through their lives just hoping one day, they'd find themselves again and be happier than ever. Somewhere along the lines of this rant, I dont know why but I dont think I could be any more happier for THAT one childhood friend which whom i miss dearly has finally found what shes been searching for all her life.

After 22 years of searching, wondering, and thinking she finally found her mom via FACEBOOK. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? It's almost like a Shawn Hunter from Boy meets world story..and somewhere in my heart as corny as it sounds is actually relieved and more than happy to know that she finally pieced together a piece of her life that meant so much to her growing up 22 years later.

"Strength is happiness. strength is itself victory. In weakness and cowardice there is no happiness. When you wage a struggle, you might win or you might lose. But regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being" -Daisaku Ikeda

dirt brain.

My dad sent me this picture as an "eye test", what do you see in this picture if you see the girls butt in the back, you need to go to the optometrist and in my opinion, sign up for underage predators @ underagepredators.com. hahaha what a great picture. And if you didnt originally see the butt first thing and really saw her arm, congratulations..you have no sense of humor.

Lost in a Dream.

October 1st already?! sweet jesus, where has this year even gone, i remember it still just starting the year out like it was just yesterday. 31 more days until halloween and to figure out what im gonna be this year. Too bad im not going anywhere exciting to explore this time around..First day of the month and i'm in some pms mood of watching love and basketball to sleep and watching it again first thing when i wake up. Gahd, watching it in HD is WAYYY BETTER.

"In bed my real love has always been the sleep that rescued my by allowing me to dream"- Luigi Pirandello

In his time

There are a lot of things that happen for a reason and I've probably been saying this for the past couple years everytime I share something. But recently what's been boggling my mind has been the thought of not just everything happening for a reason but how everything works in his time, God's time.

That's the most important thing to me as I think about what's the hardest thing in life. Beyond the surface of the norms of juggling school, friends, work, and etc. etc.. I think its not finding love thats hard or getting a degree thats hard or even as simple as passing my classes thats hard but waiting and being patient for what God's plan is for me. Understanding that for everything before you even thought of it, God had made a plan and that its in HIS timing that he believes that's right for you will work for the better.

I know I always bring it up or had been bringing it up also in the past post about my job and how I have been so grateful and humbled by God's timing and how everything has worked out for me within this past year. Just the fact that I was that typical struggling college student living off the parents, feeling bad to ask for money, sparingly used the minimal amount of money I receieved from them, all the while trying to keep my friends by taking the time go chat and hang with them over some dinner or lunch. And after a whole lot of patience and even actually giving up at one point slowly about to hit rock bottom, I receieved that phone call that changed a lot of things for me. Being able to help out a bit with my schools living situation financially and not having to COMPLETLEY depend on my parents/sister has been a whole nother humbling experience and I dont think without God, could I have ever, EVER be at this amazing point in my life of just being content and happy with everything that's going on with my life.

So whenever youre feeling low and rockbottom, just know theres ALWAYS a timing for everything and that one of the hardest, HARDEST things in life is to be patient and wait for God's timing. Eventually, He will get you there.

Heres something about the 1st Asian American NBA player who talks about his thoughts on being sent down to the D-league and then goes on to explain how he couldnt have been more grateful for having that experience.

Things we take for granted.

On a first note: apologies to the norm readers who kept up with me while my days of inspiration was on maternity leave. But now i'm back hopefully to entertain you somehow.

There are some things we take for granted these days and as I slowly look back on the things that I grew up with during my childhood, things have sure changed. I don't know if its for the better or worse but the 15 years of actually beginning to understand the real world has definitely not been the same. I cant even come to think of the ideas of how the older generations feel when they didnt even have calculator to add up all their calculations or a even a computer. Here are some things that throw me back to the 90s while growing up and wondering what we used to do when we didnt have........

1. the EXACT time..What did we use to do when we the power went out and we needed something to tell us the exact time? oh, thats right. P-O-P-C-O-R-N. "the exact time is now _: _ _" Now we get frustrated when our clocks are all not synchronized at the same time.

2. Wireless internet.. i remember growing up and having a computer WITH a CD-ROM drive was a LUXURY..and having dial up internet that connected within 5 minutes and didnt wake the whole neighborhood up? HEAVEN. Now we get frustrated when the internet takes more than 15 second to load.

3. Phones..cell phones didnt even exist in elementary school..and so scarce in middle school. What a pain to have to wait for someone to pick you up and if theyre late or if youre not there theres no way to contact. You just have to search, search, search, and search until you finally find each other and are pissed off at each other for not being at a spot at a certain time/place. Then you used the house phone and that barely worked cause then you'd have your parents friends complaining about how the lines ALWAYS busy etc. etc. or itd be awkward to call the house cause you'd have to go through the rest of the family to get to you and they'd know who you were after the 3rd call. Now we get frustrated when we dont have service in some areas and dont know how to survive without a phone.

4. phonebooks..I remember growing up as early as kindergarten inspired by my dad and his huge phone book, so i decided to collect small little books and begin writing phone numbers of random classmates and bombed their house phones only to finally realize i always lost every book. Now we're frustrated because if you see someone with a phonebook..they're rich cause they probably got it from urban outfitterz.

5. playing on the streets.. learning how to bike, rollerblade, and scooter all the time without parents supervision. playing basketball everyday after school outside on the block and meeting/ making enemies with the neighboorhood kids...not having to worry about those nasty nasty predators who kidnap, steal, and rape. Now we get frustrated cause kids are getting fat sitting at home facebooking at the age of 8 cause we're scared they'll get kidnapped and raped on the streets as if it wouldnt happen online talkin to strangers.

6. circuit city, woolworth, longsdrugs, mervyns...random stores that you grew up with but because of the economy everythings shutting down. Now you can only get everything from Bestbuy or target..and the cities that have walmart. -___-. Now we get frustrated because we can't get those 50% disounts we used to get from our friends that worked at the stores that closed down. Boo for thrifters.

7. cassette tapes...back when we would transform the cassette into a CD or cassette to cassette. Still got the FANMAIL T.L.C. cassette in my car ready to play nooooo scrubs and when you overplayed the darn thing you had to rewind the film back in with your fingers. Seeing a cassette tape today is like seeing an ancient egyptian script on the walls of a pyramid. Sad to say cds are now becoming the cassettes from then. Now we get frustrated cause we cant download free music off napster and limewire.

SWEEEEET.

so i had some feeling of guilt from the last post that maybe i shouldnt have been so harsh about it but after serving more rude customers last night..my gut told my guilt....PLEASE, you deserve to vent.

anyways, ive been super busy planning, working, schooling, interning, and getting settled at my new place with new roommates. I moved in with 4 boys last minute because I ended up with zero roommates by the time i needed to move out so i picked up a place at the boys knowing that they were men and that they live like men...aka meaning i was going to be camping everyday i stayed in SJ. Everyone I told was like "ohh thats so gross"..."Theyre so filthy" ...etc etc. I sucked it up and prepped myself mentally to not be a diva and live humbly, humbly duuurty. Not expecting anything, for the past two weeks...i've noticed the little-est things make the BIGGEST difference, for me at least.

I love living here and living with these boys..aside from the fact that theyre filthy, i can see that they try to keep it clean because i'm around but from time to time, their men tendencies come out and drive me cuckoo..but i'll survive. I've had surprises that literally have me have the butterflies and gigggles with a FAT smile on cause they do things that make life that much easier..almost like a mother/father doing little things for you without you asking them and it makes you happier inside. For example......

....after i moved my things into their house, i was telling my friend who helped me move in (not expecting of anything) that hopefully i wouldnt be too tired to build my bed when i finished moving everything..and when i got back after picking up my things at the other house i guess the boys overheard and built my bed for me when i got back =)
.....setting my room up with christmas lights to make it more cozier.=)
......we went out to go eat and i got togo food and while i was driving i let my roommate hold it for me and forgot about it..next day i woke up hella hungry and went to go look for it in the fridge upstairs..it wasnt there and i was soo upset until i opened my fridge in my room to grab water and saw my togo food sitting in the fridge not touched! =)
....cleaning the men-filth-college life bathroom for me before i use it and keeping it clean. =)
.... i bought a box of cheez-its to keep me sane during my 5 hour class, ate some and forgot them in the living room, next day, found them on the fridge closed and sealed with those black paper clips so it wont get soggy cause they remembered when i said i hated stale hot cheetos the day before. =)
.....getting off work earlier than me from in&out and making me a special in&out salsa burger and dropping it off at my work for my lunch! =)

.....ahhh, love.

RESTAURANT BIZ part 5?

Ive been way overdue and have just been taking a summer vacay via blog status...or in other words LAZY. but i guess i could use this to vent and somewhat entertain you...if you dont get offended haha.

Well well...working at the boiling crab...ive come to the conclusion of which race is THE WORSE customers EVER. I'd like to know actually if its only at the boiling crab that experiences terrible customer aprreciation/etiquette or in general majority of restaurants. No offense... but I have got to say after working for about 4 months there, i have come to the complete conclusion that FILIPINOS are THE worse customers EVER. They have no manners, constantly nag sounding worse than a mother going through the peak of her menopause and act like its ok when theyre waiting for their table..and when they come and ask they are full of sh*t...oops i mean attitude. let me just give an example if you still dont understand:

filipina: hi table for 7 under christian
me: ok, your wait will be about 1 hour and 45 minutes.
*40 minutes later
filipina: excuse me, how long is the wait now for table for 7 under christian? we've been waiting reeeally long. (WITH HELLA ATTITUDE)
me: *flips through my pad and checks time* uhm actually you havent been waiting really long because we gave you an hour and 45 minute wait and its only 40 minutes. (throwing attitude back with my head bobbling with fachichude)
filipina: actually im not tryna give you attitude im just tryna figure out how long is the wait (still said with attitude, this time with a face like she just smelled dogsht)
me: well it just passed 40 minutes so its an hour
filipina: *hella mad, rolls her eyes and walks away

like really? i dont care if you throw attitude at me, i can throw it right back. well thats only one example...theyre so NEEDY, impatient, and DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TIP. its unbelievable how cheap they are...maybe they should sell their mercedes/lexus/and beamers and stop acting like they have money so if they want to treat themselves out to some royal food once in a while they can tip well too. Maybe im just so upset because i've had about 5 groups of filipino customers this week that totally just blew it off EVERY SINGLE TIME. its too bad they ruin it for everyone else cause i definitely dont give them 100% of my service anymore. they deserve 1% just like how they tip me $1 for an $80 bill. GET REAL..we're college students and live off your stupid tips.

word of advice: DONT GO OUT AND EAT IF YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH FOR TIP...and if youre really that broke write your cheap ass a letter to manny pacquiao to send you some money. im sure he will "pac a panch por you" too


and if you are one of those generous tippers, WE LOVE YOU DEARLY AND DONT FORGET YOUR FACES THE NEXT TIME YOU COME AROUND.

13: A place where you'd like to move or visit

I am SOOOO behind on this blog. apologies...been busy moving and settling in this new place and finally had time to just chill for a bit. but i'll digress..

A place i'd love to move to?...eh no where. I love living back and forth in daly city and san jose..it cant get ANY better. but a place i'd LOVE to visit that's #1 on my visit list is Burma. I feel stupid for being ignorant as a child and not wanting to go, now i feel i must make up for it and see my parents hometown. I have a map of countries circled of places i must go before I die, lets just hope it goes through. =D. till then, i will show you my adventures within.

Life on Pause.

If I could have one wish right now and it could be anything, it'd be to pause life RIGHT NOW.

I've got 12 more days left of this N. 238 house of LUXURY, 4 more episodes of Oprah EVER, and two more class sessions of finals for spring 2011, and one more year left of my undergrad college. And its slowly hitting me as things in this house are slowly being packed away and moved out.

Never in a million years would I have ever thought that these last two weeks would have been more painful to move out and realize that the journey in this house has come to an end. The roommates that we've had and have, memories of the cleanliness and dirtyness it brought out in us, and the luxury of living in a college mansion for two years has been unbelievable. This was the real college life and knowing that we're all going our separate ways, good and bad, it'll never be the same. Something definitely cherished forever.

Dear spring, please take a pause.. I dont want my semester to begin because I have class with such great people, great teachers, and no homework. The schedule fits in my work schedule so perfectly I dont want to have to get used to a whole nother lifestyle. And to top that off, i want to graduate only to get out of SJSU, the workload, and budget crisis its going through, but if i could live this college life FOREVER, i'd do it FOREVER..

I want life to just be on pause, even if it takes me to tell Summer to hold its horses because I'm still basking in the joy of my spring or me being up to cherish the last of this couch that's going to be gone tomorrow knowing that i have a 7am final tomorrow morning. I guess I should remind
myself that all good or I should say great things must come to an end.

Times like these I wish I had Click's remote.

light graffiti.

After many tries, finally greatness.

Angels in the City.

Dino the Dinosaur.

B-town Royalty. Butterfly world.

I will dearly dearly miss you 238 N. 6th st.

I won't let go- Rascal Flatts

Passion X Melvingsings. GREATT!

fail me not.

SF never seems to fail me whenever i need a mini getaway. forget LA, vegas, and all that other good stuff, im satisfied with the city to help me step out of my normal routine and get me to do crazy, adventurous, and fun things. And to top it off, still get to come back home and sleep in my comfy bed after a long day. =D

tandems with no hands!
LA > SF.

the dynamic hill duo.

love this pic.

FINALLY GOT TO ALCATRAZ!!!!

amazing tour. finally, after 22 years..no sickness to stop me from coming here this time!

and one of the most beautiful views in the world..only very very few can top.

SANFRANCISCO, you are bomb.com.

012: bullet your day

First off, Happy birthday to my great pal T.Dubbs... Feliz Compleanos to her.

-woke up at 11--dead tired from work
-hopped in the flooded shower

-biked my way to class and skid of the sidewalk in embarassment

-got to class listened to Boo boo debates

-biked home

-ran to internship at santa clara valley med.

-did the PT's dirty biz and saw disgusting wounds.

-drove home

-caught the last part of oprah

-went to the bank to deposit checks

-treated myself out to froyo

-knocked out for two hours

-ate dinner

-began my paper

-watched 3 OTs of the OKC/ grizz game

-finished paper

-and not skyping with lil mama and fatazz..aka amanda and nathan

-hooray...not i just have to prepare for my presentation =(

apologies for being so busy with school and work now, when i have my day offs all i wanna do is just relax and stay away from blogs. -_-. i'll be back on as soon as summers back in sesh in three weeks.

11: Put your itunes on shuffle and write down 10 songs that pop up

1. Next to you- Chris Brown ft. Justin Beibs.

2. Baby- Legaci cover

3.Forever Ain't Enough- J. Holiday

4. Suicidal thoughts- Notorious BIG

5. Something Special- Usher

6. All Over Me- The Jacka ft. Matt Blaque

7. Rock Steady- The Whispers

8. Deeply in Love- Hillsongs

9. Hey Mama- Kanye West

10. Battlecry- Nujabes

08: How I hope my future will be like

How I hope my future will be like? well one can only hope and leave it in God's hands.. but if i could live the dream future I've been wanting, I'd want to be a college graduate who gets stoned everyday, with kids who also get stoned with me...of course after they reach past the age of 5..but with that, my husband MAY NOT be a pothead and must work his butt off to make ends meet or least to provide trees for us. haha, nah that'd be interesting and wild to have though.

(ok, a little inappropriate)..but on a serious note...,

... I do hope that my future will be full of surprises every day. That one day, I will graduate and become a physical therapist because of how ridiculous the journey it is to get that far, that one day, I will find that "sole" to my "mate" =D, and have put the K(rackin) in Kids when i do find that dear ol' mate. Can't forget to add to my list that i SHALL find and buy myself a house in SF...nothing from the sunset area though. And after all that? TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH MY FAMILY to all the best cities in the world and take the best pictures in the world.

April babes.

Happy birthday to thee loves of mi life! April FOOLS.

My BFF Alex reppin East OAKLAND!!!! on EASTER!!

"da blur" sucks.
Dinner with the Schmucks at Sa-tinky rose.

Happy birthday papacitos! **note- the light pink shade is not from the lighting..he has pink eye on his birthday from my mom farting on his pillow. HAHAHAHAHA ok..i just made that up.

Bomb.com din din! but no bomb.com $$$

Sh** happens and so does love.

Male vs. Female

"And that’s the biggest difference I’ve noticed that even some of my male friends agree with. A man with commitment issues will walk away from even the most amazing woman if they’re not ready, which can be admirable depending on the circumstance. Whereas, a woman is more prone to taking a risk regardless of how scared she is or how many times she’s gotten hurt in the past." -Abi

Not all men have balls as big as women.

help out JAPAN today!

Hella blurry cause it stole it off FB, but 20% of your tab will go to relief fund for Japan! Happening at ALL boiling crabs including the two in SAN JOSE,CA. Today only, support your fellow konichiwa's!

J.Lin for the Win.

an excerpt from at article by Matt Steinmetz.
"Possibility ... yes," responded Ellis, when asked if Lin could be the first guard off the bench next year. "If he continues to work hard and he gets better every year ... Who knows? If he comes back better next year than he was this year, he'll be playing a whole lot more. He'll understand the game more and he can help us. If he stays here and is the third guard, he'd help a lot."

read more at: http://www.csnbayarea.com/04/11/11/Lin-might-be-third-guard-Warriors-are-se/landing_warriors.html?blockID=501921&feedID=5882

hes an up and coming star...his last game of the season and puts on 3 highlights of the game. a steal, a layup over two guys, underthe basket layup, and a deep three in the last seconds of the game?!!? ok jeremy, i see you. i see you. glad to say i've met you and that you make us proud to be from the BAY area and that you rep your love for jesus. =D

"Don’t be jealous of anyone. I guarantee you, if everyone walked into a room, and dumped their problems onto the floor, when they saw what everyone else’s problems were, they’d be scrambling to get their own problems back before someone else got to them first. "

Amazing God.

Got this vid via Sammy. Great and inspirational..def hits a bit closer to home with breast cancer. Watch it and hope youre just as inspired and content with Jesus in your life.=)

08: A Moment you felt most satisfied with life.

I forgot that I was working on this 30 day challenge...i'll continue.

A lot of people have different moments that not only take your breath away but gives you that feeling of being so content with life where no one could pull you down from sitting on top of the world. I've had my share of ups and downs along with different occassions that have given me the satisfaction of life, but this certain moment of my life definitely made me feel like i was unbreakable. So a moment that I've felt most satisfied with life? Well, the most satisfaction I've gotten out of was the recent job I just got.

With this whole economy bust, hours cut, school tuition raised, times have been a bit tough. I know there are people who have it way worse than I did/do and I like to live a bit more lavishly than others, which I won't deny, but money for a college student doesn't usually come easy. Referee hours was barely cutting it for me when in season and the extra time I had spent on my bed perusing useless crap online due to the one class on monday/wednesdays was not making me feel any more productive, so i figured i'd go out there and get myself a job and help my parents out a bit so they wouldn't have to pay for my little wants and needs. Last October, I applied to 12 jobs in and around the malls in San Jose and around 24 Physical therapy clinics. I didn't recieve ONE call/email/or text. Well excluding nordstroms but they didnt like my schedule. Then I got the nike interview which I blew and totally shattered my dreams. I felt like I was good for nothing and that this world was just as filthy as I thought it was because no one wanted me. Everyday I complained and vented to my roommate about how these other lame and lazy workers get a job and I'm over here, willing to work my butt off but can't get any love for a company still be unemployed. Well weeks and weeks passed and I got absolutely nothing.

Christmas arrived, which meant basketball was back in season! I could finally breathe knowing there was something in my wallet. And life as you know it...goes on, stopped job searching, reffed my butt off for the next couple months, and then....boom. I get a random call from a Texas area code while driving. And its the Boiling Crab general manager asking if i was still interested for a job with them at their new location. Didnt think anything of it, decided oh wtheck might as well try, if i get it, i get it. Whatever.

Day of the interview, i'm up all night not because I'm nervous but because I'm sick with a fever, runny nose, headache, sore throat, etc. Up at 5 am, shower at 6, wait for my friend to bring my clothes and shoes from the city, and my interviews at 10, and my friend never even shows up with my profesh looking clothes. I'm not looking forward to this interview. Heck, I didnt think I had any chance cause i didnt wear make up like all the girls that worked there. Eh, showed up.. was a whole nother character during the interview...added a couple of interesting fake information about myself..told them that everytime i went to BC i LOVED their customer service and always wanted to be their friends...i couldnt even remember a face when making that b.s. comment.. but went home and knocked right back out the rest of the day. Didnt even feel nervous, stressed, or scared about whether or not I got hired.

A week later, got a call back saying they wanted me as part of their team. Sweet baby jesus, I was STOKED. I've never more satisfied at that exact moment when they told me they hired me. I wasnt happy and stoked because I was now an official BOILING CRAB team employee, but because FINALLY, after searching for a job and the countless rejections, I finally feel worth to something, someone. I felt that all the hard work I put in the beginning finally worked out to it in the end. And what was more satisfying, was that I earned the job on my own with no hookups or connections through people.

I would have posted this entry when I first got the job, but with my parents strong disapproval and hatred against my decisions, I was in distraught and sadness. But times have rolled through and theyre ok now, which makes me fine and dandy. I couldn't have felt more satisfied receiving that call than anything. This whole story probably sounds like a whole stupid corny lame and dumb moment to you but when you accomplish something on your own after feeling unworthy of anything, that satisfaction will never feel the same.

"Let us not be weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galations 6:9