Despicable me.

There’s those times when pride eats you in the ass. It becomes your best and worst enemy when it comes to love, friendships, and relationships. You don’t realize it, but what comes to haunt you in the end of everything you do, is something that will make you run around in circles. Pride. I hate it, you hate it, I think we all have this instinctive habit that we’re born with. It’s something we’re proud of in our minds, but in our hearts we despise it.

Just when you caught yourself in the middle of receiving a text, your mind spins as if it was JUST the perfect timing of them thinking about you. BUT you stop, act like it doesn’t phase you, and respond back to the text 30 minutes later than you should have. JUST because your pride got the best of you. You’ve got so much to share, planned it all out in your head of how you’re going to tell him. Mobile to mobile and everything. You’re getting impatient waiting for his name to pop up on caller id, but the only thing wrong is you can’t seem to get yourself to pick up the phone, dial in his number and be the first to call him to make it THAT much easier. You just can’t. Why? No explanations of why..JUST because your pride got the best of you. You sign online more often than not trying to catch a glimpse to see if their screen name would be online on your buddy list. If not you wait patiently for it to boldly come on and as soon as it does, you squeal quietly to yourself in excitement but NOT letting your emotions take the best of your pride. Therefore waiting for them to i-m you and begin the conversation you’ve long awaited for. JUST because your pride gets the best of you. Then when things go wrong between you and them, your brain swiftly scurries around in circles looking for ways to run away from the problems, only to catch yourself asking “Why am I lookin at this s***, when I’m already over them?” But its those things about them that has your heart beat faster and slower at the same time while still managing to stir the emotions and thoughts in your what now has become a FURIOUS brain. Denial. JUST because your pride got the best of you. Then you decide to obstruct these feelings that constantly run through your mind 247, by simply deleting. Realizing that the only cure of this dilemma would be going back to the day before day 1 when you met them. Back when life was livable without them and where pride was not at it’s finest. Our delusional minds transform into computers, with too much memory and programs running all at the same time, where sometimes, we cant handle. Our best bet is to just delete them out of our lives, social network, etc. and grasp the concept of finally understanding that in the end its not about the its not you, it’s me type of business, but the “it’s not you, its not me, its my pride.”