03: My views on drugs and alcohol

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”

-C.S. Lewis

Drugs...Curiousity, Alcohol...Curiousity. Goes Hand in Hand. Of course when everyone else around you does it, you want to see what the hype is about. Even if you don't like it you gotta stay with the flow. Then you get used to it, fall in love with it, and never be the same. Oh man High school?,... curiousity kills the cat everytime. We just use the excuse "experience" to justify everything and it seems to work.

I've had my fair share of experience with drugs and alcohol in high school/early college years. I'm not all for it nor do I enjoy taking it in. It's just not my forte and I'd much rather be spending the money that makes me look and act extra foolish to something that would make me feel much better the next day. But I won't deny that it's given me one of the most unforgettable memories of my life good and bad.

No judgement though if you did do one of the many drugs out there or drink alcohol but I just hope that you are able to know your limits to not dig yourself a huge hole you can't get yourself out of. Mainly to be responsible and handle your self. Drugs and Alcohol wreaks major havoc and the last thing anyone on this earth wants to do is to clean up your mess (physically, emotionally, and financially). So when under the influence, do yourself and everyone else a favor, don't push the limit too far...because your actions will reflect your reputation. And when all hell breaks loose (including addictions), you lose respect for yourself while others lose respect for you as well.

HELLA bringin it back.

http://www.complex.com/music/2011/01/the-50-greatest-bay-area-rap-songs/

Thizzlam nation. Hyphy movement. Mac Dre. Tell me when to go. Etc. Etc. Takes me back straight to high school, back in the days when I can remember when I used to roll with Ray to school in his 50 and he'd have his windows down, heater on blast, bumpin Mistah fab's kicked out to the club like it was only yesterday. It's funny how the whole hyphy movement has slowly died down over the years, but to think back as to how crazy and big it was back when I was in high school. Speechless. Every friday the talk was about "you thizz'n tonight, you STD'in" while every was feelin themselves on it courtesy of Mac Dre. White Tees, blue jeans, and nikes! Had to bring this back and I def agree with the top 50 minus few i've never heard.

02: Where you'd like to be in 10 years.

"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time…" -Art Buchwald

02:
In ten years, my hopes is to not only want to have accomplished getting that far in life alive, but to have succeeded in my academics to prove to myself I'm smarter than I ever thought I was and to whoever else doubted me. (Because C's get degrees) But only time and effort can prove that. In the meantime, in ten years amongst many other life long goals, I hope to have at least receieved a Doctorate degree so I can make that money and travel to at least one country in EACH continent, have knocked down half of my bucketlist, continue to have the steady faith I have in God if not, closer and stronger, find my "sole"mate, begin my life with them and last but not least create a family that brings more happiness, love and selflessness to my life. All in hopes to live life to the fullest whilest having "one hell of a time".

So when you ask me, where would i like to be in ten years? ....i'd have to say livin' the life on my porch floatin in chopped trees..$$$ trees. But you say "money isnt everything", and i'll say "but money can get me everything!"

photo cred: S.YEN

01: Your current relationship, if single, how life is.

01:

Single. If by any means that rings a bell of "loneliness" to you, I think it means far from what I see it as. Prince Charming hasn't exactly rolled up in his chariot to my door steps yet, but I don't see any difference between having one specific person to keep you company or having a multitude of genuine friendships that give you not necessarily the same exact type of love, but a similar love that makes your heart warm and keeps you far from the definition of lonely. I'm not an advocate for the single awareness lifestyle, but I do believe that being single means giving the oppurtunity to more freedom and space to breath metaphorically and literally, something I enjoy for now. But don't get me wrong, finding the right partner for a lifetime can change a person for a lifetime...and hopefully life will be more vibrant than already is when that time comes for me.

30daychallenge.

I'm not sure how I feel about this 30day challenge..quite reminiscent of the infamous XANGA days. But I think this could be quite interesting..and i'd give it a try. Courtesy of S.Yen also doing this challenge, although i'm not sure if shes still goin with it. I'll probs do most, except ones that are kind of just eh..useless to read for me and you. But like it says "Here we go" ..

..lets not make infidelity as easy as eating an apple...

weekend getaway.

A successful trip and surprise down to LA in celebration of ending a hopefully passing and VERY painful winter course..right before the next painful spring semester. Went down to visit Ma$e and got some other extras while down there. Hands down had one of the best feelings surprising Em at her doorstep. Good relaxed weekend..i'll let the pictures/ captions speak for themselves.

From LA to the BAY!...the girls and their +1's.

This place sure was kick'n with hella spice. But two thumbs up for NO WAIT. Seeyaboilingcrab!
alll done...

double dating for the night with an eyes closed affair. partyfail#4.
72 NORTH, you were on point that night.

sharie and sands!

I coulda swore I was wearing heels too. -__-.

SMH, classiest slippers in the building. partyfail#8..happy birthday? haha

RUBBBYYY!!!... i have no clue.

and finally, the main event of the weeekend... MA$ON!! can't wait to see him in a year when hes walking.

The Proud family, Oscar. Trudy. and Penny. my new friend who wasnt so happy in pics...but was secretly happy to play with me. we're bffs holdin hands already! I felt like Oprah surprising Em and watchin her scream when she saw me. HAHA i hope one day i can have that feeling and scream..of course with Oprah on my front steps!! For the haters, impossible is nothing.

creative LOVE.

In case you missed oprah and her amazing show, peep this cute video. Kristian Andersen has two kids and a wife and was diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer. For his wife's birthday, he made her a video ft. hugh jackman and others.

Have a little bit of Selfishness.

People are so low and dirty these days. And I'm not talking about being literally stinky dirty, but the scandalous ones that somehow seem to find the best in most of us. All this talk about making the world a better place, this and that..but it seems to me as the older I get, the more scandalous people are. I don't know if it's because that's just how our world is now or because as we grow older people in general are just scandalous. And of course it's like a chain reaction, if one person gets played on...they'll do the same to another. For lack of a better example, think the gang world..NO LOVE= COLD BLOOD,no heart.

I'm pretty upset with how things have become especially when people don't want to approach a situation, they think they can easily avoid it by running away, hiding out, etc. It's understandable that it's not always fun and giggles to confront someone but imagine how much more clarity and communicationally satisfied we can be after whether its good or bad. Or in another situation, when you say youre going to do something for someone, or be there for someone, or help someone, do it..Cause their counting on you big time. People go out of their way to do things for you and be there for you, return the favor by sharing that with other people (Not necessarily your friends or family, ANYONE in general). Contribute to making the world a "better" place. Unless its a really good excuse of not being there, expect that you will get the same treatment you give to others.

I believe in karma, I don't care what you say or believe in, but the sh** you do DOES end up coming back to you. "what goes around comes around" and it aint NO JOKE. The only problem is...don't be surprised when you do someone dirty, that it comes right back to you. Because the only person that deserves more crap than anything or anyone else, is you.

And when you get the low down dirty did to you, just remember:

where you stand in the end of this game called "life" is not about "two wrongs don't make a right" but to get by think "Two can play that game". It takes one to get one. Goal is to be the last one standing right?

--thanks to the queen of a-holes of professors at SJSU and the king of a-holes at VApalotalo for inspiring me to be a negative nancy and write this. I hope the economy lays you off soon. =)

Money Tree.

I pay $640 to shower in this lovely tub with a HUGE window next to it..with a ghetto curtain that overtime has done some serious wear and tear issues that wont even stay down. Thanks to some creativity, I now shower with paper taped up on the window, so theres no free shows while doing some cleaning of the nooks and crannys. Now that, .....is where my parents hard earned money goes. If I was to live in a perfect world, money would grow off trees..only my backyard tree to be exact and specific. For now, I guess i'll have to just utilize the paper from the trees to keep me from going insane. But feel free to come over and have the prison experience of not dropping the soap in case the papers get soaked and the curtain flies up without your permission. =\.

"I have a dream"

"I have a dream.....will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers." -MLK jr.

Thank you Martin Luther King Jr. for making this world a better place. For being a huge part of making this world a more colorful and diversed place. And for reminding us that although dreams may take long, they eventually do come true. For that, the world is grateful to have haved you in our life time. Happy birthday, Martin.

...and thanks for giving me a break to relax off school and work for one day of the three craziest weeks of my life.

"A wise girl kisses but doesnt love,
listens but doesnt believe,
and leaves before she gets left."
-Marilyn Monroe

1/11/11.

"I try to live day by day without a fear or worry. It's no time to, I make moves in hurry. Used to be so clear now my vision's getting blurry." -Substantial. [a nujabes remix]

Story of my life for the beginning of 2011..the days are so slow, yet so fast. Life's so busy, yet unbusy. I don't know if that makes any sense. But when I want time to pass, it takes decades to get to where I want time to be, but when i need it to slow down..its moving at the speed of light and right now, the next few weeks are a blur. (no pun intended for "blur" fans, haha) All i can hope and pray for is to pass this winter course i'm taking and to git git git outta here one step at a time. I guess these next two weeks will be a glimpse of my future homesickness for gradschool. "home away from home".

Newbie!

Brought a tear to my eyes slit shut specs.

Congratulations to the Fangs and Aungs!

Greetings & Welcome to earth, Ma$on Ezekiel Fang! =)

Born on January 9, 2010. 7lbs. 20 inches.

Paid friendships vs. Genuiely real friendships.

I don't mean to point anyone out specifically or speak about anyone specific as for this topic goes, so if youre reading this and youre thinking ..."is this about me specifically?"..think again.

Anyway, I understand the economy is bad these days and money is tight in almost everyone's family and everyone could use a little bit of extra cash somewhere in their wallets. Everything seems to always involve money, nothings free these days right? Wrong, some things are still free to say the least. Love? Free. Friendship? Free. And with friendship comes unlimited reasonable favors. Free. I've encountered a couple of instances where either someone was doing a favor for me and expected $$$ in return or if I did a favor for them, they would give me $$$ in return for the favor. I don't believe that friendships are made of money. If you borrowed money, pay them back, same goes the other way. As for favors, a favor is done because a real friend would mean to be there for each other out of their own goodness while sacrificing time and effort without any cost. THAT is what a real friend is. In return, I would only ask that if I ever needed a favor, they would be there for me just as I was there for them. But just know when to stop when the favors go overboard because then, ...the friendship would make you a USER..at that point, have the wallet ready.

Favors is done out of your own good will. It's a part of something interwined with the other unwritten and unspoken rules of a genuine friendship. In other words, doing a favor means counting on that friend to be there for you and help you when you need help. So the next time money's involved, think twice about your friendship...Is it a paid friendship or a geniunely real friendship.

The new year just began..its good to clean out the dirty friends and BUY some real friends.
...cha-CHING!

git git git on it, thank me later.

new year, new start?

The only normal/functioning picture from that night/morning..before the classy barfbag came out.

Apologies again for being so M.I.A. off this blog since the holidays began. I would make my new years resolution to make a post every.single.day to help myself and maybe you to get my thoughts on "paper and pen" and look back on it and just shake my head at either how fun it was or how ridiculous things were...but that would just be a whole lie cause I have a lot of time on my hands, but NOT that much.

New year, New start? It's bittersweet to begin the new year with a new age EVERY year but as I get older I'm thinking of it to be more positive than negative....2011, I don't know what you have in stored for me but i am probably more nervous than any of the previous years. Im still stuck in 2010 and as i was making my photobook, i must say i probably knocked out half my bucketlist in 2010 than any of the previous years. I can't wait to see what adventures 2011 has waiting for me.

The holidays were nuts and the two weeks I had off for school was most definitely not enough vacation and relaxtion time. I felt like a chicken with its head cut off running around malls to malls and stores to pick up gifts and foods while attending the parties that make my holidays extra special. =) Before I go any further and rant on about nonsense, I just want to thank the best real friends any one could ask for that came out to my birthday at mink. Who, even though they had work right before, or drove 50+ miles , or dropped by even though they had to be with family before 12, or chose to be at the bars with me when it hit new years, and didnt give me some lame excuse after telling me they were gonna be there. hands down...THANKS..meant the world. Like i've said ages ago, maybe so old its back in my myspace/xanga..that its those friends who really put the effort in for you and SHOW UP even for the little-est things that matter the most. As for others, hope your new year started off well as mines..because all I can remember from all the music playing that night was this song that had me thinking happiness instead of the alcohol that slayed me that night.



Happy New Year!