Effort to afford friends, true friends.

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” -Unknown

That quote kind of just contradicts the story of my life for the time being as of right now. I've come to the conclusion that this world is a messed up, greedy, and selfish-filled place. In my opinion, I dont think its getting any better even though theres "people" trying to make it a better place. I don't want to come off as a negative nancy and just have this mentality of "hating the world" kind of idea, but realistically I've learned that you just have to do you to make it in this world. Only you can make that difference and only you can make yourself happy. But after that finding that quote, I think it's well..., quite helpful. I don't want to sit and sulk in the negative atmosphere the world has to offer me. So instead of only being nice to the people who treat me nice, I think for a change, I'll be nice and show them HOW to be nice. Because in the end, the only person looking and probably feeling stupid when I'm being nice while their an ass, is them.

On that note, I've been on this hype as I've grown older to try and be the best friend I could make myself to be and have the same expectations I would have for my friends to treat me. Grant it I may not be a good friend to all but for the most part in return for the true friends I've got, I try to do the same. Often times, I lie in bed contemplating on what does make a good friend. And when I have a crappy week, my friends are always somehow there to pick me up even though they dont know how crappy my week has been. They cook me surprise breakfasts, call me over for taco nights, take me out, buy me drinks, etc. Providing for me and including me obviously doesn't just complete my definition of a good true friend, but it sure does make up a big portion of it. It's being there for your friend and putting in the effort. It's not calling or trying to catch up with them when you want something, need a hook up, or your bored/lonely. Or using the infamous excuse of distance being an issue. It's the 21st century, where girls ask out the boys...likewise don't hesitate to pick up the phone and make those life-changing calls!

I've had many many many friends through out my years of middle school, high school, and now college. Some have remained my friends since and the memories never seem to fail a laughter when we get together and reminisce. But for the ones who I've thought would share a lifetime with....has upset me. Upset me not because they arent my friends anymore but upset me because of the way our friendship turned out in the end. But I guess I shouldn't sulk in the pity-ness of our what has now become an "ex friend". Because like they say "Don't worry about the people in your past, theres a reason why they didn't make it to your future." I'll believe that.

So what does make a true friend? 24 ways to be a true friend (via tinybuddha)

1. Always be there, even in silence.

2. Be kind and listen. Be fun and light. Be serious when needed, love extensively, and forgive always.

3. Don’t be scared to tell each other the truth no matter how difficult it may be.

4. Guide each other in times of need with your honest opinions.

5. A true friend is someone who always listens and is genuinely interested in the good and bad, and someone who calls or writes just to say hello.

6. Be loyal in confidence and character, always open and inviting to share concerns, always honest even if you disagree.

7. A true friend tries his best to cheer you up when you are upset and makes you feel special.

8. Try and improve their life though your friendship.

9. Be who you truly are—be that vulnerable–and provide the other person the space, safety and choice to do the same.

10. Be genuinely happy when they get, receive, or achieve something you truly desire.

11. Share the truth in your heart, without the fear of misunderstandings.

12. Be loyal and forgive but above all: love and respect.

13. Accept the person as they are, as an individual, without conditions. Also, as important as it is for you to be there for them, sometimes you have to be willing to let them be there for you.

14. Remain friends despite a person’s choices in life and don’t bail on them when they aren’t who you want them to be.

15. A true friend always supports the person but doesn’t feel compelled to support the situation. A true friend knows how and when to say the firm, “No.”

16. Help yourself and those closest to you grow. To live means to grow, and a true friend is someone that you can honestly say has helped define you as an individual.

17. Celebrate the wins and being there to support the losses. Keep your word and acknowledge it when you don’t.

18. Walk in to a friend’s aid when others are walking out.

19. Don’t hold grudges over petty disagreements.

20. Show up! You can pretend to care but you cannot pretend to show up.

21. A true friend is someone you feel as comfortable with as you do when you are by yourself. No illusions, no holding back.

22. Be there for the other person in the same way you would be there for yourself. Granted, if you can’t be there for yourself, that’s probably something you should address first.

23. Don’t let your own stuff get in the way. The ego is powerful.

24. Know someone’s least admirable characteristics and still love and support them.

"it’s integral to our happiness that we show people who we truly are, allow ourselves to know them in return, and then remind each other through actions—small or large—that we care. " -L. Deschene