5 is the norm

Theres this on going of bittersweetness that I've been feeling for the past two years. I'd say more of a bitter now than of sweet just because as times crunching and moneys wasting, I still can't get some of the classes that I need to get me out of this school that we call "college". What gets me the most is when people who are so judgmental towards the students who take over four years to graduate. Its one thing to understand that some may not have their things together and another thing to understand that for some of us, we don't want or choose to be here for over 4 years. But because we ended up being part of the horrible california budget crisis, we're stuck here without being able to get any classes or barely getting any classes to graduate within the four years. 5 years is the NORM for graduating on time, and for those of you to not have to deal with it every semester...praying, hoping, and losing sleep every semester near registration time, is something you'd have to shut your mouth, understand, and have a more positive attitude towards our struggles.

It has gotten to be the biggest pet peeve where people have come up to me every week asking me, when are you graduating and as I tell them some time between the next year and half, they give me this dirty look like i've been slacking off and it gives them something to look down on me for. If only they knew and understood what state students go through DYING to get these classes. No one wants to be in that stage of knowledge knowing that they WANT to be in college for over 4 years, even though its way more fun than the real world. And no one definitely wants to drop way over 2 g's every semester pretty much donating to the crisis. If only the people would understand that we do try and its not a guaranteed four year degree. And of everyone to understand, I wish my parents would be the first ones to see that I have been trying, that I am trying and that i am not trying to prolong my graduation because I'm in love with the thought of college and living the college life, but its really because of the damn crisis of getting the classes that ARENT being offered at the same time.

"It is more important to know where you are going than to get there quickly. Do not mistake activity for achievement." -Mabel Newcomber

Does anybody know youre a christian?

This spoken word hit me the hardest cause it speaks nothing but the truth. It def explains everything I'm trying to work on but cant seem to reciprocate anything a Christian should be portraying. Kudos to Karness (the guy speaking)

"And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." -Haruki Murakami

warm fuzzies

I think lately i've just been going with the flow of everything. Not having much emotions or two cents for anything or anyone. Ok maybe I take that back, I still have emotions for some people. But as for anything that goes for me lately, I just seem to think about it for at most an hour...let time pass then completely forget that it happened. I don't know if its a good mush brain thing that i enjoy having or a horrible trait/habit that i'm beginning to have. I.E. I got into a car accident and as an initial thought, you'd expect to be freaking out, pissed, scared, etc. but i think when i got into my first accident, i was just a bit upset for at most 30 minutes and the rest of the day/week was just flew past my mind and the thought never came back to me. Then recently I had extra mush brain and somehow completely forgot my car keys, wallet, house and bike keys were in my locker at work but by the time i remembered the door and alarm was set not being able to get into the building. I was carless, keyless, and wallet less, and was blessed enough to have a coworker bring me home but that didn't phase me for more than an hour. Maybe its beginning to take a toll on me because when things do seem to make a difference and actually have me thinking about it overnight, it probably means i should start being aware of my surroundings.

I guess I could just say i've been so blessed. Blessed with friends who have completely warmed my heart to learn to not give a crap about things that don't last forever. But that's not the point of why its motivated me to write about it on this. Its something thats been on my mind since last night after I decided to join the sjsu inter varsity group on campus last night. The last people i'd expect to see there, was there. And that super warm fuzzied feeling I've gotten since last night...a quote to sum up my emotions that are everywhere right now would probably just be "Lord I'm Amazed by you". I haven't seen my friend in two years that i've met since freshman year. Freshmen year full of basketball memories, party memories, when we first met new people..you know the people you start college off with that always have a part in your heart no matter what. Seeing her was an amazing surprise and i think if you read from my previous blogs, I always just seem to enjoy it the most when my friends talk about growing up and doing something big for themselves and I believe she's doing that right now. And even better, rekindling friendships IN the presence of God. What more could I have asked for. I can't preach it anymore than I do but seriously, waiting for God's timing is the crucial key to learning and appreciating things in life. EVERYTHING happens for a reason and come what may, I hope these warm fuzzies stay with me for a while.

broke ta broke broke

we're so broke these days, a coin drops in class and the WHOLE class slowly turns around to see what amount of the coin that dropped so we can scramble and wrestle for it if its 25cents or more. shameless world these days. With christmas around the corner, stingyness comes in spoils all the fun for presents. haha just kidding. I cant WAIT for this semester to be over and done with...even though i dont want the next semester/year to arrive...since you know, we all might not make it past 2011! haha y2k all over again...stupid people. =D

the snotty life.

I was walking to school today and some asian guy mid 40s almost lookin like hes close to homeless was talkin to me via hand motions since my headphones were on. He was asking to borrow my phone then gave me a sad face as i kinda just shook my head and walked passed him. I felt sooo bad walking past him and not offering my phone, but if i had stayed i would been late for my class...so i hop on the bus and im just so upset with myself thinking maybe he really couldve used my phone since there are no more pay phones around these days. And it just boggled my mind and as I was contemplating and really upset with it on the bus, being a little down from the terrible action i had just made, i look over and I see the same guy digging in his nose while walking as if he'd find some phone or some kind of change to pay someone to let them use their phone. I guess there was a reason after all that I didnt let him use my phone. All things happen for a reason... watch who you lend your phone too because there might just be a surprise when they return it back to you. MUAHAHA. the snotty life.

exactly.